| | I haven't written in this in forever. Seriously, were forever a
real term, it would apply specifically to the amount of time since I
have actually written something in this webspace. I am not even
entirely certain what caused me to stop writing here, partially it was
the fact that all of my friends opted for LiveJournal so it was just
easier to get an account there, and partially because my name is
semi-attached to this one. Its weird actually, since my RL
friends read my LJ, where as strangers used to read this. I don't
know if anybody still does, and I am not certain that I really care.
I realize more and more exactly how strong my force of will really
is. I should be breaking, I am broken in the way that my cervix
was trying to consume itself, and yet, though I am stressed I am
managing quite well under the circumstances. I get up, go to
work, cuddle the kitten when I get home, and play world of warcraft
with the boyfriend - go to the game on Thursdays although that has sort
of been on hiatus for a while do to too much work and the whole cervix
consumption problem. All I remember of this afternoon was an
orderly telling me that the doctors would let me know before they put
my under anesthesia, although I dont actually remember them telling me
that they were about to do so. If some gods somewhere love me
this will be the end of it and I wont have to deal with more concerning
procedures, though they still lurk at the back of my conscience.
They are big words too: radiation, chemotherapy, hysterectomy.
The funny thing is, I can look at the posatives in any situation, if
one would like to call them posatives. For instance:
chemotherapy, yeah it might make me puke for months on end but yeah,
when my hair grew back it would probably grow back thicker, so thats a
plus. Hysterectomy, well, at least then I wouldn't have to pay
for birth control anymore. This is how I choose to entertain
myself these days.
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| | Posted 9/23/2005 12:29 AM - 44 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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